you sir, are an ass

6 billion people in the world; and i have to put up with an ass hat like you. demmit.


Thursday afternoon, while Trillianes decided to get the nations attention, i was rushing through the traffic not to mention it was raining nonstop..i was on the way to Mbc where our events team would meet up for an event in Nueva Ecija. I was 15 minutes away, probably another 15 minutes late our call-time. I decided to call the assistant production manager to informed him i was on the way.. He told me not to bother going..coz they were on the way to N.E already, pasensyahan na lang, walang intayan.. walang personalan toh, trabaho lang, kase maiipit kame kung intayin ka pa namen. That was fine alright. i admit it was my fault, i could've took off earlier if i had known i would get caught in the fucking traffic..but they could've called me, or texted me the least, so i' fucking know what's goin on. My job may not be as important as the Manager, or with the talents who so often are late on most occasion..and considering, i was part of the team. I expect that, at least, they could've informed me before they went on. I was sorry i was late, and i wouldn't ask them to wait if i couldn't infact be there on time, if i didn't call, i wouldn't know that they had left already.. i was pissed at the fact that no one informed me. and it happened again yesterday. We had a scheduled event in manila, and supposedly after manila, we'll go straight to Dagupan for the next day's event. i had my things ready and packed. I brought them all at the venue in manila, when i got there, i found out that the Dagupan tripped was canceled and i wasn't informed earlier. eh di muka na naman akong tanga, dami kong bitbit hindi naman pala tuloy un trip. Azar diba, considering i had canceled whatever plans i had the next day prior to the event.. kakapikon lang.. Going about what happened including all the other stuff in between, it daunts to me, that i was as insignificant as a viral infection that's been giving me the sneeze rough time.. i've never felt so out of place and out of space in a huge fancy restaurant, with people, who's it. and who' aren't. Although there were familiar faces, friends, colleagues, and so on, It felt like i was utterly out of my comfort zone..it felt awful and lonely. It didn't really matter however i feel..i just didn't matter so to speak. And just being singled out as an underachiever in a dog-eat-dog world, made it all perfectly clear. it was almost like i was trying hard to be part of this world. it looks like i was trying hard.,but i don't exactly remember having chosen to be part of this awful mean place. So why am i here? Putting aside how much slave labor for slave wages i've gotten myself into..these familiar faces are my friends..or at least i'd like to think that. and maybe they've helped me get into this business..but hell, i sure work my ass off to pay my own bills. i deserved to be treated if not more as any of the bosses i have, at least as a person who is doing her job the best she can..

i've had encountered in more than one occasion being treated any less..but i still stuck around. I really don't want to think that i am a people pleaser. Heck, i really don't care what people think of me, although sometimes, silent words,.when spoken loudly (especially when it's not really what you needed to hear) in your face, kinda hurt my feelings..i know i didn't have to put up with situations like this or with ass hats like whoever, but i stuck around either way because where else should i be?if i wouldn't be here, where will i be? i really didn't need to prove myself to anyone.. I am here to prove myself. that i am deserving to be here. Maybe everyone are hungry for who's better than who..And i have nothing against that people or with those successful people, the achievers, or the rich and the famous alike. i don't take it against them, they work hard for it..they deserve it, but that doesn't mean they are better than the rest.
This isn't really about friends or work or the status of a person..it's about people. the person itself for who they really are. People are used to judging people for what they say, or do, or for what they've achieved.. i really don't understand how others can treat people like they don't matter..why? do they even know who they really are. I am likewise guilty for judging others by theyre looks, or they're status, or for what they do..but does it mean i am allowed to say ‘ugly’ or am I supposed to say at least,‘visually offensive’ for the sake of being politely rude. I mean, do we really have to be so friggin' insensitive to speak our mind because hell, at least, im not as ugly as the person next to me...duh. i hope you get the point.. Reality bites hard, and life isn't fair..but a little compassion won't hurt a bit. People are already hurting..People are suffering..the least a person can do is to be sensitive enough to care..and to treat others with the same respect as everyone deserves.


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Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.