dear fuckers......me so angry

*Warning: Profanity ahead.*


..i wanna meet faced to faced with this wild beast inside of me. It took me real long while to get this fucker figured out. As it turns out,i have a tendency to be emotional and irrational at once. I'm not very good in expressing myself, especially my anger.. normally, in person, you can say that i'm a hypocrite,or a tupperware, or Plastik..whatever you wanna call it, when you try to put on a smile, and pretend that everything's fine.. im just not good at confrontations. heck, i'm not very good at facing or handling problems, when im angry inside, i would usually just try to ignore it or brushed it aside..so by suppressing things inside, i harbor heavier feelings that is usually followed by a heavier sigh. it would look like i was trying hard to be patient, or tolerating when i'm really not.. So when i've had too much, i just snap.. i know it's not healthy to keep bad feelings inside, that's why im thankful for the internet and the blog gods for the space which i could get this anger off my chest.. i've already realized as a grown up that i haven't really grown much..because i still don't know how to face or handle my own problems..im not very good in dealing with life's challenges..life screws me all the time. And people do have a way of screwing you overtime..and the fact that im such a screw up, i really don't have to deal with mother fuckers who is constantly making me feel less of a person than i already am. So screw ye all if you find me insignificant like a mean little twerp that im gonna be...but i'm so over trying to please everyone.. im-a get this off my chest for fuck sakes.. So.. yea, i hate my world. I personally don't like what's happening around my world. I hate my life. and the fuckers in my life. i hate that i am single and unemployed. technically, because doing part-time slave work for my fucker friends doesn't really count as a real stable job. God knows i've had too much of kissin asses and abusive talks behind my back. and having a boyfriend who lacks the ability to provide for my needs except maybe for the occasional mindblowing sex--i sure can't complain, still, i've got one unhappy and unfulfilled screw-you-over written all over my forehead.. but i don't completely hate this fuckers..at least not personally, i think i've had enough to deal with,with my own self,that i couldn't stand to be around another royal pain..i particularly cant stand those selfish, insensitive, manipulative and abusive fuckers.. and it makes me angry that i couldn't do or say anything about it..the world is full of this kind of fuckers that i'd rather just wanna shoot myself dead, These Fuckers who borrows money and for lack of better memory forgotten to pay you back. Fuckers who remembers you when trouble calls for it, and when they needed you for whatever use they could get. but when you're in need of one, suddenly every other fuckers seemed to have a million things going on..Fuck that. and if youre this lucky, there are always motha fuckers who will lie to your face just to get what they want, and fuckers who will step on you, acting like bigger fuckheads, like they are better than anyone. Well..Fuck you. Grow the fuck up you stupid fucking fucker.. treating other people like they're small won't make your dick bigger..And why do i put up with this fuck heads? i honestly didn't have to..but the damage is done..and there's no escaping the fact that i got screwed over by people closest to me..and i swear to God i wouldn't let another fucking fucker fuck me over ever again.. fuck you all back! i have enough to carry around beside my own fucked up personality..including all the fuckers in the house. see, my mom seem to have this i-dont-mind-being-screwed-so-screw-me-really-hard written on her forehead..and i don't get her sometimes. maybe because she just have a gigantic heart, and mine is broken to pieces. My mom is so kind, so understanding, that even if people are abusing her, manipulating and using her, she's capable of letting it go. she would do and give everything to almost anyone who would ask for anything..most especially with her brothers and sisters..and sometimes i hate her for that.. how more stupid does she need to get before she'l realize that these suckers will never change. you know how people say, 'if only we can choose our relatives'?..Fuck,i would.. If only i could.. demmit..Arghh.. but i guess if you look at the bright side, it's really not that bad..at least, i didn't have to be around these suckers everyday..and when you think you had the worst, well, there's my sister, who lives with me and who is a royal pain. and i deal with her stubborn ass every fuckin day..not to mention two of my cousins who were the two-faced backstabbing useless motha fuckers ever..(also lives with me btw.) and an overly dramatic old fart who is btw, my grandmother..the royal of all royal pains..These are pretty much the mother fuckers who's fucking my life up every fuckin day..So,Fuck you all back! there!! i'm sure getting it off my chest will make things feel lighter. if it would make them perkier i would tell everyone all of my secrets..but that's enough for now..
today, i hate my life.. i hate the world.. so now, i'm the bad guy huh? well..sue me!!!